headcanony stuff for Claire

mashing the stuff from the young!Claire I play into the list of stuff I’m slowly putting together for the future!Claire I want to play.

 it almost broke Claire when Castiel told her he wasn’t her father

  • even later, when she knows it wasn’t Jimmy, it still stings
  • because this is an angel and they are supposed to be loving representatives of God
  • and he broke her for most of year; made her think her father didn’t want her

 she was raised as a devout Christian. 

  • she wasn’t totally interested in it, but it made father happy for her to go along with it
  • and then Jimmy left
  • and Claire prayed every night that he would return
  • she tried to be a better Christian, thinking that would make him return
  • but it freaked Amelia out whenever she got too into it
  • because Amelia was afraid she’d have the same sort of break with reality that Jimmy had had
  • when daddy came home, Claire knew it was because she had prayed so hard
  • so when Castiel asked to use her body to save her parents, she said yes. 

 she spent at least a year on the run with Amelia

  • from both police and demons
  • what with Roger’s dead body left in their house
  • and with however the demons knew Jimmy was empty, Amelia was afraid that they’d know Claire had briefly been a vessel
  • Amelia drained her bank accounts, Jimmy’s accounts, even Claire’s savings account to fund them through the year
  • which flagged the police, who were treating Claire as a kidnap victim
  • (the police had a theory that Jimmy came home, kidnapped Claire & Amelia, possibly killing them the way he killed Roger, but they had hope they’d find at least Claire alive)
  • it was a really rough year on both of them
  • Claire will never tell anyone how hard it was

 Daddy Issues! because supernatural wouldn’t be complete without them.

  • she spent a year thinking it was her fault that daddy left
  • and then there was that guilt that she was afraid of Jimmy when he was just trying to protect her from demons
  • and the guilt over Jimmy giving up his body to Castiel on a permanent basis so she wouldn’t have to
  • it’s an awkward ‘I love him for saving me, hate him for abandoning me’ back and forth 

 she’s over protective of Amelia and Jimmy. and even Castiel

  • because as much as she hates Castiel for taking her father away, she wants to believe that it was for the right reasons
  • she gets a little bitchy when people bad mouth her mom
  • she can barely control her temper when Jimmy is brought up

 she’s scared of Castiel

  • she doesn’t remember much of anything of her 10-minute possession, but she remembers the feeling
  • she refers to it as being “the virgin in the volcano”
  • because she only thinks of angelic possession in terms of sacrifice. 
  • his possession of her wasn’t long enough for her to get anything out of it, just the knowledge that he is vast and powerful

 Claire is Castiel’s “True Vessel”

  • That “As it is in heaven, so shall it be on earth” thing (aka the “Why Sam is Lucifer’s Vessel but not Michael’s” reasoning) threw a bit of a wrench into that; in order for Claire to mature into the True Vessel, she would have to be closer in experience to Castiel;
  • In other words, her father would have to go missing with no sign of ever returning, and she would have to go hunting for him.
  • When Castiel actually took her as a vessel, she was only beginning to go down that road, so it’s not quite a perfect match, and why Castiel was willing to take Jimmy back instead of staying with Claire
  • as a side note, even if Castiel and Claire ever meet again, it’s unlikely that Castiel would give up Jimmy’s body for hers.
  • after everything that Castiel and Jimmy have gone through together, Jimmy’s body & soul have grown into something more than any “True Vessel” could ever be.

 Hunting was never Claire’s intention

  • all she wanted to do was find her dad
  • she followed a trail of dead angels, but never seemed to catch up to Castiel or the Winchesters
  • after awhile she started putting together the signs of demon possession and started trying to use that to find them
  • slowly she actually started to learn about more “normal” supernatural entities, and how to protect herself
  • leading in to how to protect other people when they started getting in over their heads
  • and finally taking a proactive role in protecting people by actively hunting the supernatural
  • looking back on it, she laughs about “going about things backwards”

There will probably be more to come, but I’m being distracted by TVtropes.

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