Month: January 2014

Is there anyone among us who doesn’t think Star Wars could use a little Nick Fury? (Source)

…it’s a universe with a well-established history of just cloning the shit out of people at the slightest excuse. Samuel L. Jackson could theoretically play every role in the next movie without it being that implausible, by Star Wars standards.

(via stuckinabucket)

Holy shit I would pay twice the going rate for a movie ticket to see a film performed entirely by Samuel L. Jackson. I don’t even care what film. Star Wars, Pride & Prejudice, Sherlock Holmes, The Godfather…Any. Movie.

(via copperbadge)

“From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and fucking conceit made me realize that you were the last motherfucker in the world I could ever be fucking prevailed upon to marry.”

(via hippity-hoppity-brigade)

It is a truth fucking universally acknowledged that a single motherfucker in possession of a giant motherfucking fortune must be in want of a goddamn wife.

(via knottahooker)

“The fucking recollection of what I said—of my fucking conduct, my fucking manners, my motherfucking expressions during it, is now, and has been many fucking months, goddamned painful to me.  Your reproof, I shall never fucking forget: ‘had you behaved like less of a motherfucker.’ Those were your goddamned words.  You know not, you can scarcely fucking conceive, how they have tortured me.”

(via stuckinabucket)

“Really, Watson, you fucking excel yourself,” said Holmes, pushing back his chair and lighting a cigarette. “I am bound to say that in all the fucking accounts which you have been so good as to give of my own small achievements you have fucking habitually underrated your own motherfucking abilities. It may be that you are not yourself fucking luminous, but you are a motherfucking conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a fucking remarkable power of stimulating it. I confess, my dear fellow, that I am very much in your fucking debt.”

(via knottahooker)

Motherfucker, mama always said life was like a box of fucking chocolates. You never fucking know what you’re gonna get.

(via asgardian-feminist)

To fuck up a motherfucker or to not fuck up a motherfucker, that is the question.

(via getdowngetfunky)

Guys this is the kind of thinking that got Snakes On A Plane made

(via xtremecaffeine)

But soft! What fucking light through yon motherfucking window breaks! It is the fucking east, and that motherfucker Juliette is the fucking sun

(via knottahooker)

“Harry, you’re a mothafuckin wizard.”
“Say what?”
“Bitch, did I stutter?”

(via ididthatonce)

“A little motherfucking sea-bathing would set me up for fucking ever.”

(via baileyeverywhere)

“About three goddamn things I was absolfuckinglutely postive. First, Edward was a motherfucking vampire. Second, there was a part of his sparkly blood drinking ass — and shit if I know how strong that part of the cold bastard might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was fucking unconditionally, irrefuckinvocably, in motherfucking love with the pale ass blood drinking motherfucker. “

(via duelist925)

We want the finest motherfuckin’ cakes known to humanity. We want them fuckers here and we want them fuckers now!

(via wellharkather)

“One day, and that fuckin’ day may never come, I may call upon your bitch ass to do me a motherfuckin’ favor.  But for now, consider this a fuckin’ piece of generosity on the day of my daughter’s fuckin’ wedding.”

(via endlesskng)

“You cannot fucking stain a motherfucking black coat.”

(via maddy44)

“And none for Gretchen motherfucking Weiners, bye.”

(via jujuberry136)

“My good fucking opinion, once lost, is lost forever, motherfucker.”

(via misamdry)

We must be as swift as the fucking cold river, with all the force of the badass typhoon, screw shit up like the goddamn fire, mysterious as the mutherfucking dark side of the motherfucking moon.

(via nethenclawpuff)

“I’M FLYING MOTHERFUCKERS!”

(via loracarol)

The wand chooses the god damn wizard motherfucker!

(via queenofthedicks)

Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Motherfucker was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything; I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life. No, I guess Motherfucker is just a… piece in a jigsaw puzzle… a missing piece.”

(via saunteringvaguelydownwards)

“With great motherfucking power comes great motherfucking responsibility.”

(via stuckinabucket)

“I will take the motherfucking ring to fucking Mordor.” [pause] “Though I do not know the motherfucking way.”

(via lord-kitschener)

“I’m the mother fucking Doctor, bitch! I’m worse than everybody’s fucking aunt!”

(via putthecheeseinthemac)

“Pay no fucking attention to that motherfucker behind the curtain.”

(via breelandwalker)

One ring to rule those bitchasses, one ring to goddamn find them, one ring to bring all those motherfuckers and in darkness bind them.

(via thebatsknees)

“I’m gonna fucking steal the Declaration of Motherfucking Independence.”

(via eternal8song)

“Your ass shouldn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, motherfucker.”

“Lemme tell you a riddle. Your ass is waitin for a train, a train that will take your ass far away.  You know where you hope this motherfuckin train will take you, but you don’t motherfuckin know for goddamn sure. But it doesn’t motherfuckin matter. How the fuck can it not matter to you where the fuck this train takes your ass?”

(via hellyeahangels)

“Fuckers assume that time is a fucking strict progression of motherfucking cause to motherfucking effect. But actually from a goddamned non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it’s more like a big motherfucking ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey…goddamned stuff.”

(via dramageekforthewin)

Toto, I’ve got a goddamn feeling we ain’t in motherfucking Kansas no more.

(via total-screaming-genius)

One morning I shot a motherfucking elephant in my fucking pajamas.  How the fuck it got there, I don’t motherfucking know.

(via underscorethony)

This is motherfucking Sparta bitch!

(via abumponthehead)

Seven motherfucking minutes ago… we, your forefather motherfuckers, were brought forth upon a most motherfucking excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill… and Ted. These two great motherfucking gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my motherfucking time, just as it’s true today. Be motherfucking excellent to each other. And… MOTHERFUCKING PARTY ON, DUDES!

(via pileofmonkeys)

“As you goddamm wish.”

(via aka14kgold)

“I AM MOTHERFUCKING SPARTACUS.”

(via lostinhistory)

“No, *I* am motherfucking Spartacus.”

(via quigonejinn)

“One motherfuckin’ day more before the godamn storm. Will we ever, ever, for the love of a motherfucker in the storm, meet the fuck again?”

(via johnnysnotmyname)

That motherfucker is like fucking fire and ice and shit. He’s like the motherfucking night and the storm and the heart of the goddamn sun. He’s ancient as shit and fucking forever. He fucking burns at the center of goddamn time and he can see the turn of the fucking universe. And that motherfucker is awesome as shit.

(via only-slightly-insane)

Guys Star wars happens “A long long time ago, In a galaxy Far Far away” Fury hasn’t been born yet in them.

(via jimbly)

Only if you assume that George Lucas was making a documentary. Otherwise for all we know the actual intended audience of the piece was Jack Harkness sitting around on Boeshane in the year 5122.

Also this seems to indicate a despicable lack of faith in the time travel abilities of Nick Fury.

Or that you think our current Nick Fury is not himself potentially a clone of the Furies that existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

(via copperbadge)

…and now I am picturing Samuel L. Jackson as all three Greek Furies.

“We’re here for vengeance, motherfuckers!”

(via persian-slipper)

Either way, you’ll be receiving a visit from Director Fury shortly. I strongly suggest you have an explanation prepared.

(via copperbadge)

~~~~~

One of the best things to happen in motherfucking ever.  READ ALL OF IT. 

(via tygermama)