With Matt (prose-before-hos), Wazy (toxicure) and Sammi (yours truly)
[da nah nah nah nah BATBLOGGING]
Matt: Look at his lips. They are so luscious. Ra’s al Ghul is going to kiss you now.
Wazy: Oh yes Batman, keep running towards the fire.
Matt: Corrugated steel has nothing on Batman.
Matt: I like how Batman ran there. Oh no~! Jason~! [prances about the room]
Wazy: JENSEN ACKLES
Matt: AS… NOT BATMAN
Wazy: AND BATMAN. AS UNDER THE RED HOOD
Matt: RED AS UNDER THE BATHOOD.
Wazy: The most amazing buddy cop movie you’ve ever seen!
Matt: CHRIS FARLEY AS BATMAN.
Wazy: GOOD YEAR. It was not though.
Wazy: Wait, is that a police blimp?
Sammi: Yes.
Wazy: That doesn’t strike me as very efficient
Sammi: You have a heart as red as your mask.
Wazy: Leave it to the black guy to say ‘damn’
Wazy: BUT DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING DEAL TO CHILDREN
Sammi: Nice mutton chops, bruh.
Wazy: Well Jensen Ackles was in this, so they had to give Jared a shout out, too.
Wazy: I wonder if Batman just stays up all day coming up with lines. ‘Master Bruce, please go to bed.’ ‘No! I have a line for this!’
Sammi: Yes. Yes he does.
Wazy: Why does it look like Namor? If I’m going to make a cyborg, I wouldn’t make it look like Namor.
Wazy: I JUST WANT TO HELP, WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME??
Wazy: Why is Nightwing more prepared for this than Batman? Isn’t Batman’s superpower being super prepared?
Sammi: For a second it looked like he had four arms!
Wazy: CATCH ME BATMAN!
Wazy: Thanks Neil Patrick Harris.
Wazy: What did he kill them with?
Sammi: His mind.
Wazy: Good thing he has Batgoggles!
Wazy: Always cleaning up Batman’s messes. You can get out of the batcave, but you can never stop cleaning up the guano.
Sammi: Yeah harpoon Jay. That’s the way to do it.
Wazy: Think about the millions of dollars of damage that would do. He just let a harpoon with a hood on it detach from his batplane! It’ll kill someone!
Wazy: So wait, why did he take Joker’s name? Red Hood was the Joker, right?
Sammi: Yeah. It’s because he killed him.
Sammi: Cute Jay, real cute.
Sammi: Or he can take off on you.
Wazy: He does that. He’s Batman.
Sammi: You’re… industrial stapling it to the roof.
Wazy: Yes. Industrial stapling a helicopter to the roof. Because reasons.
Sammi: Of course you’ve seen it before. YOU TRAINED HIM.
Wazy: See, Batman never says get in the car, but at least he says move.
Sammi: Such an animu face there.
Wazy: I know. Angst, angst, angst.
Wazy: You want to be that woman when you grow up.
Sammi: Yes.
Wazy: Who are these people? Lightsaber ninjas? Tron ninjas? Lightsaber tron ninjas? SHIT IT’S THE LIGHTSABER TRON NINJA MOTORCYCLE GANG!
Matt: Wait for it… wait for it…
Sammi: Spazalicious
Matt: And guess what? He still did! Batman, you fucked up.
Wazy: Batman: worst dad.
Wazy: I’m a distraction~
Sammi: Tralalalala la~
Matt: Batman, I’m over here~
Wazy: Not my jacket! Do you know how much this cost? We’re not all made of money!
Wazy: Bathroom, bathroom, fighting in a bathroom! Batman and Robin are fighting in a bathroom!
Wazy: Sounds a lot like Supernatural if you close your eyes.
Wazy: Still sounds like Supernatural.
Wazy: Just keep killing your Robins and sticking them in lazarus pits, Batman. It’s working so well.