So on Friday my boss took me out for lunch, and we discussed my first week. It was good all around, no complaints and no worries from my coworkers or me.
That took a huge weight off of my shoulders; the past year and a half has been pretty rough. I know I’ve withdrawn from basically everything and everyone outside of videogames since I quit my full time job. I didn’t want to burden folks with all my doubts and worries and fears.
But in doing so I think I may have lost some friends. I may have added to their stresses by making them think I wasn’t/couldn’t be/didn’t want to be there for them. I may have caused some folk to believe I didn’t want to spend time with them while I was trying to scrimp and save what little funds I got while working temp jobs.
The doll I just bought probably didn’t help with that impression…
But now that I’ve got steady employment again, employment at a place that feels so light hearted and easy going, I’m breathing easier. I’m also looking back at the last eighteen months and cringing.
I want to apologise.
I haven’t given up on any of my friends. You’re all so very dear to my heart, and I love each and every one of you deeply.
Thank you for being my friends, even though I haven’t been a very good one for a long time now.
