I have been going back and forth on this for a bloody week.

I need a job. I’m not making any money off of the store, and my savings are dwindling rapidly. As much as I would love to make a living off of this stuff… well. I’d need to go to shows more than once every four months, but you need money for those, too.

My previous job wants me back. I’d be paid a higher salary. Pay off my debt. Get my materials without worrying about credit limits.

Desk is on the production floor. The damage to my ears has healed some; no more throbbing and ringing, but I still get headaches with loud noises, and putting headphones on is a good way to start a migraine.

It’s full time. I don’t really want to go back to full time work. I was always exhausted by the end of the day, and frequently more than a little bitchy.

I feel like an idiot, thinking about turning this down, but the screaming, the headaches,  the lack of communication… it all adds up to stress. Stress and anxiety, and all those little nasty thoughts that drove me to quit in the first place.

/sigh