{"id":16097,"date":"2011-11-27T04:57:59","date_gmt":"2011-11-27T04:57:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/?p=16097"},"modified":"2015-02-23T01:56:17","modified_gmt":"2015-02-23T01:56:17","slug":"jeexbeez-why-would-i-think-that-ok-if-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/?p=16097","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-16097 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/?attachment_id=16098'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"75\" src=\"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_lvaxetTIwP1qdh21mo1_1280-150x75.png\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/jeexbeez.tumblr.com\/post\/13383588080\/why-would-i-think-that-ok-if-you-really-wanna\">jeexbeez<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><em>Why would I think that?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Ok if you really wanna know I\u2019ll tell you. I think that because it\u2019s true.<br \/>I mean come on, anyone can put on some fucking grey make-up and a black wig. Anyone can paint on a shirt. Anyone can do basically everything I\u2019ve done for my \u201ccosplays\u201d and I was never even proud of them to begin with! I mean sure I\u2019ve gotten <em>better<\/em>\u00a0but I\u2019m not good. At all.<br \/>The only people who tell me I\u2019m good are my friends and you guys are biased as hell because I mean come on! No one wants to hurt their friend\u2019s feelings.<br \/>On top of that I\u2019m poor as shit so I can\u2019t afford nice things to use for cosplay. My Karkat wig? 20$ and it\u2019s like a step above Halloween-store quality. It\u2019s all I can afford! Half the shit I use is from my closet which you\u2019re not supposed to do. I also just found out that my mum refuses to help me sew a dress so I now have to learn how to do it on my <em>own<\/em>\u00a0which is going to make it look like trash which is going to make <em>me<\/em>\u00a0feel like trash and even just thinking about it is upsetting me. Plus the people I surround myself with are so much better than me so when I\u2019m with them and we\u2019re all in costume I feel overwhelmed and out-cosplayed and just..really shitty. Like people are judging me for being the worst, which they probably are because I AM THE FUCKING WORST.\u00a0I hate everything I\u2019ve ever done for a costume, it\u2019s all so cheap and stupid looking. I do all this research and then I get together with everyone and nothing works out.<br \/>I mean seriously I picked the worst hobby. It\u2019s expensive and I am poor, how does this work. I\u2019m paying 50$ for a 30$ chest binder. The wigs I want cost 40$ and 30$ respectively. I asked for them for christmas and I know for a fact I\u2019m not getting them so I need to order those by myself as well and I only have 140$ to my name that I only just recently got and I would go out and get a job but I have after school activities and homework so I don\u2019t have time and asdjasdj<br \/>I just hate everything ok.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>EDIT: Oh wait shit I\u2019m not done hating myself. I used to have a bunch of wigs and you know what happened? I destroyed them. I tried to style them and instead I ended up ruining them. I can\u2019t sew, I can\u2019t style, and everything I do for a costume looks stupid.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Oh hun&#8230; that is a whole lot of self-hate there. I don&#8217;t think anything I say will really help in the here and now&#8212; I know it never helps me when I&#8217;m in a mood quite this black&#8212; but I&#8217;m going to post this so you can look back on it later, okay?<\/p>\n<p>Excuse me? Who the HELL told you you&#8217;re not supposed to use stuff from your closet? I wish to smack them upside their little fucknut skull. When you&#8217;re working on a budget your closet can be your best friend. Hell I still pull things from my closet for cosplay; my work clothes tend to do double duty as school uniforms and the like.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Ouch&#8230; yeah. I can see how your mom bailing on helping you sew can cause a bunch of problems. Even with a life time of sewing under my belt it&#8217;s a bitch and a half to do, especially when you start to get frustrated. Learning a new skill is never fun&#8230; I&#8217;d offer to help, but there&#8217;s the combined problem of not knowing your machine and living so far apart.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>(&#8230;of course I do have a car and a habit of driving for hours on end just to turn around and go home, and an actual reason for doing something might be awesome once in awhile&#8230; but that would be your choice, dear Mouse)\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I certainly know the feeling of being the worst in a cosplay group. And I know it sounds trite because I am fully aware that I am an awesome cosplayer (oh look at me be egotisical) but all my friends from highschool are practically a full tier of skill above me. It&#8217;s distressing and it sucks and sometimes I wind up sabotaging my own costumes because I&#8217;m afraid I won&#8217;t measure up. Don&#8217;t be like me, don&#8217;t do that.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You know, I &#8220;quit&#8221; cosplay about five years ago. Swore up and down I was done and I was never going to do this stupid ass shit ever again because it was destroying me. The only reason I&#8217;ve done any cosplays for these last few years was because I was going in groups. I was being the body to fill in the void, so my friends would have a full group.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s not much fun.<\/p>\n<p>So if giving up on cosplay is what&#8217;s going to make you feel better, than that&#8217;s what you do. Take a break, let your worries and your self hate have a rest and think about it again later.<\/p>\n<p>It took me five years to finally be happy with cosplay again. And it took meeting you and the rest of the girls from Otalite (and guys, I guess there were a few of them around&#8230;) to get me to that point.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;<br \/>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>if you want to see some of my trashed costumes, I am totally willing to post them. Just so you can see how terrible someone with fifteen years of cosplay and twenty of sewing behind her can still screw everything up forever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>jeexbeez: Why would I think that? Ok if you really wanna know I\u2019ll tell you. I think that because it\u2019s true.I mean come on, anyone can put on some fucking grey make-up and a black wig. Anyone can paint on a shirt. Anyone can do basically everything I\u2019ve done for my \u201ccosplays\u201d and I was &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/?p=16097\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3415],"class_list":["post-16097","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-jeexbeez","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16097"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16097\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16099,"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16097\/revisions\/16099"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/renne.finalknight.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}